


In a Car with a Beautiful Boy

by Thats_Amore



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Angst with a Happy Ending, Homophobia, Inspired by Richard Siken, Internalized Homophobia, Love Confessions, M/M, Mutual Pining, POV South Italy (Hetalia), Road Trips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-22
Updated: 2020-09-22
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:13:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26605792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thats_Amore/pseuds/Thats_Amore
Summary: Lorenzo's stuck in a broken down car with Alfred, and as they're waiting for a truck to come tow the car away, Alfred finally tells Lorenzo something he's been holding in for a long time.
Relationships: America/South Italy (Hetalia)
Kudos: 32





	In a Car with a Beautiful Boy

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by parts of two different Richard Siken poems. For this and future stories that aren't sequels/prequels to something I've already written, I will be using Lorenzo as Romano's human name.

Alfred and Lorenzo’s impromptu, post-graduation road trip isn’t going anything like they planned. It had started out well enough, with Lorenzo picking out the CDs they would play in the car after they left the city and the radio selections were limited to Spanish language stations, talk radio, and stations filled with too much static to even discern what the programming offered. At lunch, it started to drizzle, and Alfred stopped to get something from a McDonald’s. Lorenzo wasn’t hungry enough to consider eating a quarter pounder with cheese, but he did snag a few fries from Alfred and made him promise not to tell either of the potato bastards that he willingly ate a potato-based foodstuff with a mostly sarcastic death threat. When it started to rain, Alfred turned up the heat and gave Lorenzo his leather jacket. He wore it for a while and then decided to use it as a pillow while he took a nap.

Unfortunately, Lorenzo was woken up not even an hour later by the sound of Alfred cursing out his nearly two-decade old pickup truck, which was making alarming wheezing noises. Alfred pulled off to the side of the two-lane road right in time for the engine to die completely.

Rain pelts the roof as Alfred calls for a towing company to get the car. Lorenzo watches Alfred bite his lip while he listens to whatever the car towing company representative is saying over the phone and feels like he’d been punched in the gut. He hates seeing Alfred look upset more than anything in the world. Alfred’s eyes are blue and usually behind a pair of square-framed glasses, but they’re expressive in a similar way to a Golden Retriever’s. When Alfred is happy, his eyes can light up a room, but when he’s sad, he resembles a miserable puppy, and Lorenzo, despite not even being a dog person, feels like an asshole when he can’t comfort him. Petting Alfred’s hair would be weird, and Lorenzo has no human equivalent of a dog biscuit, so he’s forced to let the guilt settle inside him and glances out the window at the boring scenery around them for a distraction. That tree isn’t particularly fascinating, and neither are those bushes or that farmhouse in the distance, but Lorenzo has already been staring at his best friend for a little too long.

Lorenzo had learned a long time ago that he shouldn’t stare at Alfred too long. Once he had, in eighth grade, the very first time he had ever seen Alfred. He didn’t even know his name back then. Alfred was so oblivious that he never noticed anyone staring at him with lust or longing whether they were male or female. Unfortunately, Ben Campbell had been standing next to Alfred at the time and assumed that Lorenzo was staring at him. He’d tried to drown Lorenzo in the shallow waters of the creek that day, and Lorenzo had flailed, trying to kick him and rise to the surface. He didn’t want to die that day, and if he had to be killed, he didn’t want his premature death to be caused by a ridiculous case of mistaken identity. Lorenzo didn’t think too highly of himself, but he thought he was at least worthy of going out in a less pathetic way.

He hadn’t been completely deprived of oxygen yet when Alfred arrived and forcefully shoved his tormentor out of the way. Lorenzo caught a blur of red, white, and blue swim trunks distorted by water before Alfred’s hand reached down to pull him up to the surface. Lorenzo had grasped that temporary lifeline tightly and coughed up water as soon as he was able to. He’d shivered when Alfred carefully patted his back, and not because he was adjusting to the feeling of air against his cold skin.

Ben Campbell had sputtered indignantly, face turning red. “The fuck, Alfred?!” If Lorenzo hadn’t been trying to recover his breath, he would’ve laughed at the way his blond hair was now plastered to his forehead by the water he’d been trying to drown Lorenzo in.

Alfred had put an arm around Lorenzo, like he instinctively felt the need to protect him despite the fact that this was the first time they’d met. “Dude, you almost drowned him! Not everybody likes dunking games!” Lorenzo had clenched his jaw and glanced away. His savior was an oblivious moron, apparently.

Ben’s next words pierced through his soul. “He was staring at me, and it creeped me out. I think he’s some kind of homo or something.” The words had been delivered with so much revulsion that it made Lorenzo feel nauseous.

“I wasn’t staring at him,” Lorenzo grumbled, which was the truth. But he had been staring at Alfred, caught off-guard enough to forget that he wasn’t supposed to look at other boys that way. Only a few minutes before Alfred had showed up, Lorenzo had been looking at an attractive girl in her bikini, probably one of the high schoolers he wouldn’t have had a chance with anyway. Lorenzo should’ve never glanced away, but the sound of Alfred’s laughter had distracted him. He’d sounded so bright and happy.

“It doesn’t matter if you were,” Alfred had told Lorenzo, completely ignoring Ben’s presence. “It’s not something you deserve to die for.” He turned to shoot Ben a vicious glare, and Ben had rolled his eyes before stalking off, muttering something about them both being homos.

Lorenzo had smiled weakly up at the stranger who had saved him. “If I was gonna stare at a guy, it wouldn’t be Ben Campbell. I’ve got better taste than that.”

Alfred laughed again, and Lorenzo had felt a distinctive swooping sensation in his stomach. Up close, his smile was even better. Alfred had dimples, a detail Lorenzo hadn’t been able to see before.

“Nice to meet you, dude. My name’s Alfred.”

“Lorenzo.”

Since then, they became the best of friends, and Lorenzo has discovered plenty of additional reasons to like Alfred besides his stupidly charming smile or how good he looked in overly American swim trunks. Alfred is a genuinely kind human being that Lorenzo enjoys spending time around, and Alfred seems to like being around Lorenzo too. Lorenzo’s sarcastic abrasiveness has never put Alfred off the way it seemed to put off other people. The only issue is that Lorenzo might be a little bit in love with his best friend and that his feelings have only gotten stronger after getting to know Alfred beyond a surface level impression. But as far as Lorenzo is concerned, it doesn’t have to be an issue. All he needs to do is keep his feelings to himself.

Alfred has never struck Lorenzo as homophobic. He saved him from a homophobic attack and seems perfectly fine with Lorenzo’s little brother Feliciano and his boyfriend Ludwig. Yet Lorenzo has never even told Alfred he was bi. Alfred might be terminally oblivious, but he isn’t stupid, and Lorenzo can’t take the risk that Alfred would put two and two together and figure out that Lorenzo doesn’t just like guys, but likes Alfred in particular. And even if Lorenzo wanted to say something, he’s never had the opportunity. Alfred has never been eager to talk about anyone he might be interested in, even hypothetically. Maybe he’s never been interested in anyone.

Lorenzo hears Alfred ending the conversation over the phone, and he forces himself to focus on the present moment instead of chasing down dead-end tunnels inside his own mind. He glances over at Alfred, who is putting his cell phone down in the space between them and leaning his head back against the headrest.

Alfred’s eyes are shadowed with exhaustion, probably because he’s been driving for several hours in a row. “The towing guy said he’d be here in about fifteen minutes,” Alfred said.

Lorenzo attempts to smile. “That’s good.”

“He’ll take us to a mechanic, but it will probably be a while before the car will work again. _If_ it will work again.”

Lorenzo shrugs. “That’s pretty much what I was expecting.” He glances around the car, gaze stopping at the heater that probably wouldn’t work since the battery had died and the wrapper from the burger Alfred had earlier before he meets Alfred’s eyes again.

Alfred’s mouth twists into a frown. “Sorry this road trip didn’t live up to expectations.”

“It’s not your fault the car died, bastard.”

“Yeah, but this whole road trip was _my_ idea. You wouldn’t be stuck here in the rain in the middle of nowhere if it weren’t for me.”

That is true, but Lorenzo wasn’t enough of a stronzo to point it out. But he is enough of a jerk to ask a related question.

“What was this all about anyway? Were you taking me somewhere specific, or did you just want to get out of your house for a few days?” Alfred had never fully explained it, and Lorenzo only agreed to go on the trip because he trusted his friend. It’s a little strange that Alfred planned a road trip just for the two of them, without their brothers or any of their other friends.

Alfred turns to stare out the windshield, and his fingers curled around nothing in his lap. His cheeks turn slightly pinker, like he’s embarrassed by something, and Lorenzo can’t comprehend what that might be. “I think I wanted to be alone with you. Like _alone_ alone, you know?”

Lorenzo doesn’t really understand, but he finds himself nodding along regardless. “Yeah,” he replies. He clears his throat afterwards, not expecting it to be quite so dry.

They lapse into silence, and Lorenzo stares at Alfred’s profile. Objectively, he’s gorgeous, and Lorenzo has never once been blind to that. But he seems troubled by something, so deeply troubled that he doesn’t notice that Lorenzo has been staring at him for quite a while. He doesn’t say anything, not even to tell Lorenzo to knock it off, and all Lorenzo can hear is the rain hitting the roof of the car and their soft breathing.

After a while, Alfred lets out an exhausted sigh. “My dad’s gonna kill me.”

“For the car? It’s not your fault the thing died after almost twenty years. It’s not like you got drunk and ran it into a tree or something.”

Alfred chuckles softly and shoots him an amused look. “That’s a really specific example, Lore.”

“That actually happened to a cousin of mine,” Lorenzo explains. “He was okay. The car wasn’t going very fast, so he didn’t even need to go to the hospital. But my aunt and uncle were _pissed_ , as you could imagine.”

“I bet they were.” The smile slips off his face, and Lorenzo is watching Alfred so closely that he can see his Adam’s apple bob as he swallows heavily. “My dad will probably be annoyed about the car, but that’s not even the biggest thing.”

Lorenzo shifts in his seat and reaches out to take Alfred’s hand without thinking through the consequences of that action. “Could you tell me what the biggest thing is?”

Alfred takes a shaky breath, like he’s trying really hard not to cry. “I… I’m nothing like he wanted me to be. I mean, I do okay enough in school, and I got that athletic scholarship, so I guess he’s happy with that, but there are certain things he expects from me that I’ll never be able to live up to.”

Lorenzo nods and looks down at their joined hands. “My parents wish I was more like Feliciano. They may not have said it that plainly, but I know they prefer my little brother.” It hurts to be the unfavorite. He’s closer to Alfred than Matthew, but in some ways, he understands Matthew better. Matthew can feel overshadowed by his more outgoing, more popular twin, just like Lorenzo can feel overshadowed by his cheerful, more likeable little brother. Alfred and Matthew’s parents often ignore Matthew, which sucks, obviously, but Alfred must feel a lot of pressure with the heavier expectations his parents put on him.

Alfred squeezes Lorenzo’s hand. “I always thought you were perfect, just the way you are. I never wanted you to be like anyone else.”

“I know you didn’t.” _That’s one of the reasons why I love you._ Instead of saying that, he looks back up into Alfred’s eyes, and he’s stunned by the sadness and intensity he sees there.

“My dad would be really disappointed if he saw me holding your hand right now,” Alfred whispers, like he’s scared and maybe a little ashamed. “He’d be even more disappointed if he could see what’s going through my head for years. How much I want to kiss you, how much I’ve always wanted to kiss you.”

Lorenzo releases a startled noise, something between a whimper and a sob. He wasn’t expecting that at all, and he feels a horrible combination of exhilaration and guilt. Like he just got away with robbing a liquor store. He should be fucking gleeful right now, but Alfred is so dejected and so scared of what his father would think that he can’t be.

A tear slips down Alfred’s cheek. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything. I made you uncomfortable.” He starts to pull his hand away, and Lorenzo tugs it right back.

“That’s not… fuck, you remember the first time we met? Down at the creek?”

Alfred nods urgently. “I remember.”

“I wasn’t staring at that asshole Ben Campbell. I was staring at you. For the past few years, I’ve been doing nothing _but_ staring at you.”

Alfred laughs, and he’s definitely crying too. He looks terrified, but there’s a trace of happiness buried underneath all that, and he’s leaning in despite his fears. “I love you so goddamn much.”

Lorenzo opens his mouth to reply, but before he can get out a single syllable, Alfred’s lips are on top of his. He closes his eyes and surrenders to the inevitability of the kiss. He’s pretty sure his hand is trembling when he reaches up to cup Alfred’s cheek, but Alfred doesn’t seem to mind. He doesn’t mind that Alfred’s tears are soaking into his own skin.

Eventually, Alfred pulls away, but he stays close, so close Lorenzo can feel his inhalations and exhalations against his lips, even after they both open their eyes. It makes him want to kiss Alfred again, but he decides to say something first.

“I love you too, idiota.”

Alfred laughs, and this time he just sounds joyful, not guilty or afraid. Lorenzo’s chest fills with warmth at the sound. “That’s good to hear. I’m not sure what to do about my dad or all of the other people who will hate me for this, but I don’t want to lie about who I am anymore. I want to keep kissing you.”

Lorenzo smirks. “It was that good, huh?”

Alfred grins and bounces a little in his seat like an overexcited kid hyped on way too much sugar. “It was the best. Because you’re the best.”

Lorenzo rolls his eyes fondly and leans in to kiss his favorite moron. Alfred responds eagerly, but a bit less desperately than before. He buries his fingers in Lorenzo’s curls, and he groans in an unfairly sexy way when Lorenzo licks the roof of his mouth. Lorenzo’s clothes suddenly feel too heavy, like they’re sticking to his skin. He wants to peel them off, along with Alfred’s.

Lorenzo reluctantly breaks the kiss and looks at Alfred, who’s flushed and panting. When Alfred blinks his eyes open, they’re dazed, and he seems to be in the same state Lorenzo is. There’s not enough space for Lorenzo to crawl into Alfred’s lap right now, but there would be if his seat was reclined all the way.

“How much time until the towing company gets here?”

“I have to check.” Alfred picks up his phone and pouts when he looks at the time. “About five more minutes.”

Not enough time for him to crawl into Alfred’s lap, unfortunately. Lorenzo can’t help feeling disappointed. He looks out the windshield, because he knows he needs to calm down before the towing company guy gets here.

“The rain stopped,” Lorenzo says quietly.

Alfred giggles. “I hadn’t noticed. I was too busy paying attention to you.”

Lorenzo’s face feels hot, and he knows he’s blushing enough to resemble a tomato. “Sap,” he chides lightly.

Alfred grabs Lorenzo’s hand again, and he slips his fingers in between his. Alfred’s hand feels so warm and comforting that Lorenzo almost misses his next sentence.

“Before the car broke down, I was planning for us to go to a hotel tonight,” Alfred says, rushing out the words nervously.

Lorenzo smiles at him. “We could still do that. Even if we have to call someone to help us get back home tomorrow.”

Alfred’s foot taps intermittently on the floorboard. “I was thinking that a… uh single room would be cheaper than a double.”

Lorenzo snorts, amused by Alfred’s horrible attempt at subtlety. “It would, but that’s not the real reason you want to get a single, is it?”

Alfred bites his lip and gives Lorenzo pleading puppy dog eyes. “I might have other reasons,” he admits sheepishly.

Lorenzo’s thumb strokes the side of Alfred’s hand. He seems to need the reassurance. “Don’t worry, tesoro. I want that too.”

Alfred’s face lights up, eyes sparkling and dimples showing as he beams. “Awesome.”

Lorenzo chuckles. Alfred is such a dork, and he’s so obvious now that his feelings are out in the open. It was torturous for him to hide how he felt, and it must have been even harder for Alfred, who would normally wear his heart on his sleeve for the entire world to see.

Lorenzo pushes that depressing thought away. Depressing thoughts don’t belong here, not where Alfred has reciprocated his feelings and is holding his hand as they wait for a tow truck to come take his old pickup truck away. Not when they’ll hopefully be sleeping in the same bed tonight, wrapped up in the sheets and each other.

“Whatcha thinking about, Enzo?”

“Everything that happened today. It all makes me really happy.”

Alfred sighs contently. “Yeah. Me too.”

Fittingly, the sun has finally started to emerge from behind the dark gray clouds covering the sky earlier. Yellow rays of light stream through the clouds and fall upon Alfred, giving him the appearance of a halo. Alfred is too fragile and too flawed to be an angel, but he’s about as close as any human being can get.

Lorenzo shifts over to kiss Alfred’s cheek, simply because there’s no reason for him not to. When he pulls away, Alfred is smiling, and some of his endless exuberance transfers to Lorenzo, filling his stomach with a swarm of butterflies. They only have a tentative plan for the rest of the day, and their future is still up in the air, but at the moment, Lorenzo and Alfred are at peace. And for now, that is more than enough.


End file.
